It's All About the Price

Today I am grading my freshman "Compare and Contrast" papers. Yes, this seems like a lightweight assignment to give to college students, but it's one of the required papers we are to assign at the community college. It is amazing to me that I've had to fail three of them so far. Weren't we doing this stuff in fourth grade?

OK, now, to the gem of the day. The writer is comparing "Jessie, who is married to a very wealthy old man" to "Amy, a call girl twice a month in Vegas."

Here are my favorite passages:

"Deep down, Jessie knew in her heart that she had only one responsibility and that was to sexually please her husband whenever he was home."

"Amy's responsibilities do not belong to a marriage based off of money, they go to what ever [sic] her client wants. But do not mistake a call girl for a hooker or stripper, they are the elite of the elite, and they have the bank accounts to prove it. Although some people might find her work dirty, Amy only has to work twice a month."

That's lovely for Amy.

I wrote in the margin: "DUDE. A HOOKER AND A CALL GIRL ARE BOTH PROSTITUTES. THEY'RE JUST IN DIFFERENT PRICE BRACKETS."

Jessie's story goes on to be a tale similar to that of the woman in the Eagles song "Lyin' Eyes."

"She buys the finest clothes at little privet [sic] boutiques, but she knows she will have to pay for it in a different way with her old husband."

And this typo was unbelievably perfect:

"Amy's clients don't just pay for the sex; they pay for time. Whether it's catching one of the new shows in Vegas or going out to eat in some of the finest restraints."