Candy Rant

"I killed a rat with a stick once."

Sunday, September 28, 2008

I Smell an "A"

I'm finishing up grading a huge pile of papers.

They are autobiographical. This little gem of a passage just caught my attention:

"Shooting guns brings everyone in are family together and if you had a bad week at work or some problems at home shooting is the best medicine. Without bullets for our guns I don't know what are family would do."

32 Comments:

  • At 6:11 PM, Anonymous futuresis said…

    Indeed. What would any of us do without bullets for our guns? Read? Pish-posh!

    Nothing says 'quality family time' like firearms and a big pile of ammo. And I say when one is feeling stressed or angry, the first thing one should do is head for the gun cabinet.

    This student needs to be a spokesperson for the NRA. This is just the kind of message that they need to convey to the American people.

    It looks like this student's paper could do double-duty as an autobiographical piece as well as a persuasive essay. I'm sold.

     
  • At 6:26 PM, Blogger prairie biker said…

    Shooting therapy is some of the best around. I had a great afternoon killing skeet with the Scribal Spouse.

     
  • At 6:38 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Pish-posh, indeed, futuresis. I say the only reason for having books is to shoot them full of holes. Dammit.

     
  • At 6:39 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    PB, what did them skeet ever do to you?

     
  • At 9:26 PM, Blogger Citlali said…

    lmao. you really get some gems. did this come from the class blond? that would be a dangerous combination... = ]

     
  • At 10:05 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Citlali...I don't even KNOW who this guy is. I haven't learned all their names yet (since the classes only meet once a week) and there are a few guys that all clump together in my brain.
    Brown hair, same faux-hawks, nondescript.

     
  • At 10:06 PM, Anonymous Ana said…

    An A would be so obvious. Perhaps a B+ would... BLAM! Yes. Yes, indeed. That's an A if I ever saw one.

     
  • At 10:06 PM, Anonymous Ana said…

    skeets is good eatin'

     
  • At 10:09 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    HAAAAAAAAA!

    BLAM!!!

    Now git offa my porch, damya.

     
  • At 11:11 PM, Anonymous JWebb said…

    HA! My neighbor Dale used to sit on her deck and shoot beaver in our lake at 50 yards with a frickin' 22 rifle. Her gruff ex-marine hubby ("Boss Hogg" - I shat thee not) was putty in her hands...

     
  • At 12:25 AM, Blogger ~:*:*:Pixie:*:*:~ said…

    LOL!!! Sweeeeet!

     
  • At 9:14 AM, Blogger Jenni said…

    We do the same thing in our family. Only we're shooting our mouths off. Strangely enough, we never, ever run out of ammo.

     
  • At 2:43 PM, Anonymous banjo said…

    Har dee are are.

    This boy needs an edumication cause his spellin ain't reel gud.

    The only thing more frightening than guns in the hands of unsophisticated and uneducated people is guns in the hands of brilliant criminals. But enough about politics . . . .

     
  • At 6:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I enjoy shooting, from time to time. I especially and literarily enjoy shooting cogs. Way, way better eatin' than skeet.

     
  • At 6:45 PM, Blogger prairie biker said…

    I like shooting beaver. I got a special gun just for it. Trick is, ya gotta eat 'em first.

     
  • At 7:20 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    JWebb...That sounds like the Beverly Hillbillies. Which is why I love it.

    Jenni: Our family too. Nag nag nag.

     
  • At 7:21 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Banjo, I did a mental drum riff for you.
    Ba dum dum!

     
  • At 7:22 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Pinkthis: At first I thought you said you shoot CLOGS. Which is understandable.

     
  • At 7:22 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    I worry that someday you won't disgust me, Prairie Biker.

    OK, not all that much.

     
  • At 7:40 AM, Blogger Dana said…

    I thought you lived in Arizona? Sounds more like Kentucky or Arkansas and NOT Texas contrary to the medias portrayal of us.

     
  • At 8:00 AM, Blogger prairie biker said…

    Admit it, Candy. At first you laughed.

     
  • At 8:39 AM, Blogger Mel said…

    I can empathize with this young person. Many's the day I've felt "Where would I be if I didn't have bullets for my guns?"

    Especially those days I'm missing my family. Dammit. I'll aim better next time!

     
  • At 9:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Wait--it just came to me....I know who your student is: Trig Palin!

    Back where I came from I knew a guy who had to decide between gun ownership and heavy drinking. That was four years ago and he's still trying to decide. I can't remember his case against drinking and I suspect that his heart wasn't really in it.

     
  • At 11:42 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Dana, There are gun-totin' bad spellers everywhere. And they're breeding.

     
  • At 11:42 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    PB, I admit nothing.
    NOTHING, I tellya.

     
  • At 11:43 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    I agree Mel, but can't you just see the guy on the porch in Deliverence?

     
  • At 11:45 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Anonymous,

    Ahem. I'll adjust that joke for you. Methinks you may have meant TRACK Palin, since Trig Palin is the baby with Down Syndrome.

    And that guy trying to decide between gun ownership and heavy drinking...is this one of those "My FRIEND needs me to buy her this pregnancy test..." things?

     
  • At 4:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Shoot! This guy's got to be kidding? Please say yes!!!! Anita

     
  • At 12:13 PM, Blogger Gale said…

    Without guns we might have to work for our grades and our jobs but with bullets in our guns we don't have to. All we have to do is drop the hint.
    I will be getting an A in this class, won't I?

     
  • At 12:22 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Seems logical to me. From purely a survival standpoint.

     
  • At 3:35 PM, Blogger MamaMidwife said…

    Ahem.

    I like shooting guns. In fact, I like it so much I teach hunter safety to any darn youngin' that comes round these parts.

    Maybe my family would be better off if I did it more often. (Shooting that is.) And as family therapy.

    Interestingly (is that a word?) enough, there is a grown person I know who has an actual college education and even a job in said profession of the earned degree - and they still, TO THIS DAY, cannot differentiate in writing between "are" and "our". Makes me laugh out loud everytime they send me something.

    Who's this prairie biker dude anyway? I went over and visited his place and it's darn funny.

    ~H

     
  • At 3:42 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Hey there, MM!

    I have never shot a gun. I'd like to shoot just a tiny one, to see how it feels. But I would probably pee my pants.

    Oh wait. I did shoot a BB gun a few times.

    Prairie Biker? A good friend who was generous enough to help load the truck in Illinois when I moved here to Phoenix. And I cannot even tell you how much stuff their was.

    He also has a cool house: a koi pond right in the middle of his living room, in a giant hole in the floor.

     

Post a Comment

<< Home