Candy Rant

"I killed a rat with a stick once."

Sunday, December 09, 2007

You Don't Say!

I'm in the middle of a grading marathon. 75 research papers. The following is a quote from one I just finished reading. Please do not ask what the topic of the paper was. Because I never found it. It is probably just way too artsy and over my head.

"Say a person wants a Penthouse magazine. What kind of a picture is taken? Here the women will most definitely be unclothed. This is considered naked."

24 Comments:

  • At 6:26 PM, Blogger Mad Grad Mom said…

    That is an incredible example of the logical process. I am astounded.

     
  • At 6:32 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    As you should be, Mad Grad. I am working with the cream of the crop.

    Of course, it is a crop of black mold.

     
  • At 6:45 PM, Anonymous Jackie O. said…

    That is the most brilliantly succinct account of nuclear fission I've ever read! That kid needs a publisher!

    Or maybe just a mild beating.

     
  • At 6:54 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Hey, Jackie...
    'member when me and youse went down to the pond next to the hazardous waste dump and did us some nukleer fishin?

     
  • At 7:11 PM, Anonymous Jackie O. said…

    Cain't say I rec'lect that, but the second head I dun' sprouted that day says that our fishin' trip was a hoot 'n a half!

     
  • At 7:40 PM, Anonymous futuresis said…

    Okay. So I need to make sure that I have understood what your student is telling us. Unclothed is the same as naked. Is that correct?

    How do you work up the strength to get through all of these papers?

     
  • At 8:41 PM, Blogger Ana Martin said…

    This is his point, you see. Unclothed is distinct from nekkid. Arteests paint the nudes and not-arteests take the pichers of the nekkid. Why's you people so obtuse??

     
  • At 9:02 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Jackie O, that shure is a purty seccont haid.

    Futuresis...I gave up and watched Amazing Race instead.

     
  • At 9:03 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Ana, Obtoose? Whatha hell is that?

    Nekkid is nekkid.

     
  • At 9:16 AM, Blogger EB said…

    This is what academic writing looks and sounds like to students. The only difference is that we phuds make the same sorts of ridiculous statements with purtier words.

    Speaking of purty. . . Candy, you sher do have a purty mouth.

     
  • At 11:39 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    EB, you kwit with the sweet tok.

     
  • At 4:10 PM, Blogger LD said…

    glad they cleared that up for us

     
  • At 4:30 PM, Blogger prairie biker said…

    Of course if she came over to my house, here she would be unclothed as well.*







    *assuming, of course, she met our rigorous quality assurance standards.

     
  • At 4:33 PM, Blogger prairie biker said…

    I meant to say, "unclothed here as well" however, I apparently lack the same succinct literary clarity and style as your students.

    mebbe i shuda jes sed nekkid-ized.

     
  • At 4:35 PM, Blogger prairie biker said…

    crap. I did have a "here" in there. And, I forgot the "definitely". Crap. Sometimes I'm just a fucking idiot.

     
  • At 5:20 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Ah, but you have provided me much amusement, PB.

     
  • At 5:35 PM, Blogger Steve B said…

    This is college, right? Not the fourth grade?

     
  • At 4:26 PM, Blogger Tony from the Bronx said…

    Say a person wants a Soldier of Fortune magazine. What kind of a picture is taken? Here the Mercenaries will most definitely be clothed. In camo. This is considered Macho. Say a person wants a Martha Stewart Living magazine. What kind of a picture is taken? Here the women will most definitely be wearing pearls and oven mitts. This is considered womanly and domestic.

    Me, I like Modern Bowling Illustrated. Featured this month: "Are you renting the shoe that's right for you?"

     
  • At 4:33 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Steve, it's not college. It's "community" college. Which is 4th grade.

     
  • At 4:34 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Tony, picture Martha Stewart with an M-16, in bowling shoes.

    Yeah, I can't either.

     
  • At 7:51 PM, Anonymous futuresis said…

    Would that be Bowling for Martha Stewart's Fortune?

     
  • At 8:03 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Great idea for a reality show.

    Figures Martha would like to bowl...ever since she did time in the Big House, she's veered toward the gutter.

     
  • At 6:16 PM, Blogger Citlali said…

    I'm laughing so hard. = ]

     
  • At 6:36 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    WHAT? You *laugh* in the face of higher logic?

     

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