Candy Rant

"I killed a rat with a stick once."

Monday, December 10, 2007

Disturbing Manger Scene #1



Wait. Before you say anything, I do not own this one. Even I have to draw the line somewhere. This bordering-on-repulsive nativity set is by a Southwest artist. I do not judge her. Some people will totally dig this interpretation of the scene of Christ's birth. It will speak to them.

As for me? It says one of 2 things:

1. Candy, none of these people have heads. Or arms. Also, they are druids. Headless, armless druids. They are populating the ancient town of Nativitus Decapitatus.

2. No, Candy. This is a display of holy sausages wrapped in tortillas.


I will tell you something else: This nativity set is very expensive. I won't tell you how expensive, because then you will try your hand at making them, and there will be more of these, and that simply will not do.

I wish I had never seen the baby Jesus portrayed as a vienna sausage.

15 Comments:

  • At 7:10 AM, Anonymous E said…

    This reminded me of you, from today's DI:
    http://blogs.dailyillini.com/entertainment/2007/12/09/my-letter-to-roger-ebert/

     
  • At 7:13 AM, Blogger Gail said…

    On the turd day of Christmas . . .

     
  • At 7:22 AM, Anonymous Scott P said…

    Here's "E's"link, if I did it right.

     
  • At 7:27 AM, Blogger Mel said…

    BWAH! What Gail said. That's just hideous!

    ...but how expensive? :D I'm fascinated that somewhere there's a market for this ... um... stuff.

     
  • At 7:39 AM, Anonymous futuresis said…

    I think a lot of people pay a lot of money for things that are touted as "art" because they are too afraid of looking like a hick that doesn't understand art. The "artist" says it is art, and nobody dares question her. That could not possibly have taken much effort to make. And it definitely didn't take a lot of artistic vision. Your average preschooler could make a better nativity scene.

    I'd pay money for that rock man that Candy disposed of before I'd buy this set of crap. At least that was interesting.

     
  • At 7:47 AM, Blogger Dana said…

    That is just wrong. On so many levels.

    There is a bookstore & gift shop in the building where I work that has quite a few disturbing Nativity Scenes for sale. For example there is a mummy baby Jesus, an alien baby Jesus, a snowman baby Jesus, and a psychedelic baby Jesus. This one trumped them all.

     
  • At 9:46 AM, Anonymous Scott P said…

    I spilled some cereal this morning that kinda looked like a nativity scene? I wonder what I can get for it?

     
  • At 9:52 AM, Anonymous Jackie O. said…

    Is it just me, or do these figures look a bit like uncircumcised p*nises? I thought Jesus was Jewish....

     
  • At 10:41 AM, Blogger Domhan said…

    Ahem. Yes, the person who dares own a Beta player looked at the picture of this creche and said OUT LOUD, "That's SO cool!"

    Then again, in the sitcom The King of Queens, Jerry Stiller's character creates in the front yard of his daughter's house a creche that consists of totally ridiculous wise men: a giant inflatable Santa Claus, a lawn jockey, and, I don't know, a concrete elephant. I can't remember. At the time I was laughing so hard that my memory cracked.

    The thing is that I so do not believe that the contemporary image of the creche happened (as reinforced by the song The Little Drummer Boy), that I guess I find abstract interpretations of it (or absurd representations of it) wildly amusing.

    Yes, you are all right. In hell, I will be forced to listen to The Little Drummer Boy, as sung by Wayne Newton, for eternity.

     
  • At 12:09 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Apparently this little scene does catch the attention of many. Turd-like? Yes. Uncircumsized members? Yes. They all come to mind in the magical prism of such fine art.

    Domhan, when I first saw it, for a tiny split second, I thought it was cool. But it was so brief that before I could release the "L" from my tongue, I started screaming.

    I do happen to believe the nativity scene happened, for real. But this? This just freaks me out. I desperately wanted a Sharpie so I could at least give them eyes.

     
  • At 12:36 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Dana, I'm still stuck on the mummy Jesus.

     
  • At 1:03 PM, Anonymous Futuresis said…

    Scott,

    Put that on eBay. You'll get bids. Lots of them. I just know it.

     
  • At 3:55 PM, Anonymous Scott P said…

    I ate it already, but I believe I could re-create the magic.

    For a price...

     
  • At 4:34 PM, Anonymous Ana said…

    Angels,shepherds, lambs, wise men, nativity. This is accurate. It leaves a lot of room for the imagination. You aren't cornered into the anglo-saxon Jesus or the semitic Jesus or the I-was-born-a-poor-block-child Jesus. No! You can be free to...Oh, never mind. It's vienna sausages in poppin' fresh dough.

     
  • At 5:05 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    DANG! You had me going for a minute, Ana.

    But no.

     

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