Candy Rant

"I killed a rat with a stick once."

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Is This a Sign of Something?


First there was a face in the lint on my floor. Now, I'm going about my business in the kitchen, and I look down where I slopped some coffee earlier. And Alfred Hitchcock is there.

Why are there faces everywhere? I think I'll lie down now and wait for the paramedics.

16 Comments:

  • At 7:45 AM, Anonymous futuresis said…

    Great. Now I have the "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" theme music going through my head. I guess it could be worse, but I really don't want to be humming this all day.

    Strangely, this coffee spill bears a striking resemblance to the strawberry. I think the universe really IS trying to convey a message to you.

    I have no idea what it might be. Sorry.

     
  • At 9:14 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Well please let me know when you figure it out.

    In the meantime, here's something to get that song out of your head:

    "Ooops! I did it again...played with your heart.....I'm not that innocent."

    That was Britney.

    Or how about the theme from Star Trek with that high-pitched woman singing?

    Or how about the theme from Mr. Ed: "A horse is a horse, of course of course..."

    You're welcome.

     
  • At 9:21 AM, Blogger Gail said…

    He's telling you to clean your damn house or suffer the consequences.

     
  • At 9:34 AM, Anonymous Jackie O. said…

    Candy, if I had a dollar for every time you thought you saw Erik Estrada's face in your slice of wheat toast, I could retire. And remember that time you saw Arsenio Hall in your bowl of Chicken 'n Stars?

     
  • At 10:56 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Gail, fear not. The lint-face is gone, and the coffee slop was only there for a fleeting moment. Just long enough to speak to me.

     
  • At 10:58 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Jackie, YOU saw Arsenio, too. Admit it. It was that same day we BOTH saw Mama Cass in that wadded up kleenex. Which was the day before we saw Don Knotts in the melted Velveeta.

     
  • At 11:24 AM, Anonymous futuresis said…

    Thank you for the now endless loop of annoying songs that have been haunting me! Why? Why did you have to include Britney Spears?

    Just for that, I want you to think of this:

    We go together like ramma lamma lamma ka dinga da dinga dong
    Remembered forever as shoo-bop sha whada whadda yippidy boom da boom
    Chang chang changity chang shoo bop that's the way it should be
    Waooo Yeah

    We're one of a kind like dip da dip da dip do whap de dobby do
    Our names are signed boogedy boogedy boogedy boogedy shooby do wap shoo bop
    Chang chang changity chang shoo bop we'll always be like one
    Wa-wa-wa-one

    Enjoy THAT. Sh*t. That backfired on me. Now I'M singing it. And I hate that song.

     
  • At 11:34 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Holy crap, Futuresis. In all my life I've never heard that song. In fact, I don't think it IS a song. I think it's more of your "I'll just have a 'shroom omelet for breakfast again because yesterday when my face melted and dribbled down my T-shirt was really fun" behavior.

    Note to self: plan intervention.

     
  • At 11:38 AM, Anonymous futuresis said…

    You've never seen "Grease"? That is that idiotic song at the end when Sandy and Danny ride off in the convertible and all of the other kids at the school are jumping around doing flips and twirling around in each others' arms, promising to be friends forever.

     
  • At 11:40 AM, Anonymous futuresis said…

    So that plan REALLY backfired, since you don't even know the song. Now I am the ONLY one with it in my head.

    Then I guess I will just have to fly out there and break into your car in the middle of the night and jam Kidz Bop in your CD player and somehow rig the volume control on high.

    I can't let that Britney Spears song thing go without some sort of payback.

     
  • At 11:44 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    If they promised to be friends forever, they almost certainly had to write this in each other's yearbooks:

    2 good
    2 be
    4 gotten

    And:

    Stay crazy! Never change!

     
  • At 11:53 AM, Anonymous futuresis said…

    And "LYLAS," of course.

    And "c/o '57 RULES!!"

    And "BFF," written so that the letters do this fancy overlapping thing.

    Changity chang shoo-bop. Kill me now. I haven't seen that movie in decades, but after watching it about 2,578 times in fourth grade, after it was on TV as a "special" one night and my best friend's dad recorded it so that we could watch it over and over again, I have done permanent damage and that song will never leave me. THAT is what I need an intervention for. The most powerful "mushroom omelet" in the world could not erase that from my brain.

     
  • At 5:36 AM, Blogger Jerry said…

    This is one reason that I think "art" is a humbug. Take a picture of what appears to be a urinary even, and proclaim it as the Virgin Mary.

    I just don't trust artists.

     
  • At 5:36 AM, Blogger Jerry said…

    Event, not even. Jesus I tired of proofreading.

     
  • At 6:29 PM, Blogger Citlali said…

    Jerry: You're just typing too fast; it's a finger-keeping-up-with-the-brain thing. Us smarties have those kinds of issues...= ]

    Candy: OH, and you all can't forget: S.W.A.K. (Wow, these old HS year book clich├ęs are creepng me out.)

    Ha -- Yes, the Hitchcock theme. Can't see his face w/o the theme either, it's automatic. Totally.

    And were you talking about the real TV Star Trek theme w/the real singer or the Trekie convention rendition of "Star Trekkin"?? 'Cause let me tell you that for brain-numbing endless repetitiveness there is NOTHING like "Star Trekkin". And it goes like this: (C'mon, you know it. Sing along...)
    **
    Star Trekkin' across the universe,
    Star Trekkin' across the universe,
    There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow;
    there's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim.
    It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we
    know it; it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it,
    Captain.
    There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow;
    there's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim.
    Star Trekkin' across the universe,
    Star Trekkin' across the universe,
    It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead, Jim;
    it's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead.
    It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we
    know it; it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it,
    Captain.
    There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow;
    there's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim.
    Ah! We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill;
    we come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, men.
    It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead, Jim;
    it's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead.
    Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as
    we know it; it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it,
    Captain.
    There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow;
    there's Klingons on the starboard bow, scrape 'em off, Jim.
    Star Trekkin' across the universe,
    Star Trekkin' across the universe,
    Ye cannot change the laws of physics, laws of physics, laws of physics;
    ye cannot cahnge the laws of physics, laws of physics, Jim.
    Ah! We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill;
    we come in peace, shoot to kill; Scotty, beam me up!
    It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead, Jim;
    it's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead.
    Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as
    we know it; it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it,
    Captain.
    There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow;
    there's Klingons on the starboard bow, better calm down!
    Ye cannot change the script Jim.
    Och, #!*& Jimmy.
    It's worse than that, it's physics, Jim.
    Bridge to engine room, warp factor 9.
    Och, if I give it any more she'll blow, Cap'n!
    Star Trekkin' across the universe,
    Star Trekkin' across the universe,
    Star Trekkin' across the universe,
    Star Trekkin' across the universe,
    ***

    Needless to say it's freegin' hilarious. Thanks for indulging me with the space for this precious tidbit. = ]

     
  • At 9:03 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    AGGGHH! I forgot "SWAK!"

    And you're right: Hitchcock face = theme song.

    I've never seen/heard that Star Trekkin song! How could I have missed such a treasure!

     

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