Candy Rant

"I killed a rat with a stick once."

Friday, September 28, 2007

Contemplative Fruit



I knew the minute I saw this strawberry that he was tuned in to deeper things.

posted by Candy Rant @ 1:10 AM  

12 Comments:

  • At 4:56 AM, Blogger Steve B said…

    More on the aloof, even arrogant side. Nose all in the air and such.

    And is that a comb-over?!

     

  • At 11:23 AM, Blogger EB said…

    Candy -- Crack will not solve your problems.

     

  • At 12:53 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    I see it! I see the combover! Steve, you and I must be of the same ilk. Or illness.

    EB, yes it will TOOOOO!

     

  • At 1:03 PM, Blogger Jerry said…

    In my professional opinion (I'm a certified whiskey taster), you need wine and vicodin. When the necessary levels of infusion are reached, your creativity will blossom and you will see the lonely, forgotten strawberry for what it really is...a sex toy.

    Or, if you want to play the snooty game, you could paint it...paint it orange and pretend it's a pumpkin. Then, tell everybody you're a witch (your friends probably already know that)and you used your powers to change it to a pumpkin.

    Or, you could paint a picture of it (it doesn't matter how bad it is nobody knows what art is anyway and they would not dare challenge you) and proclaim yourself Picasso's protege. Go ahead, they won't know the difference. If they are like my friends they won't know Picasso from an ass crack (neither do I but that's immaterial.)

    Unfortunately, many people who go the wine and vicodin route wind up snorting their fruit and that can lead to a trip to the emergency room. Which is not altogether bad, because your screaming n'shit will cause them to give you a shot of Demerol or Deladid. Then you won't give a shit about the strawberry or anything else and...no harm done.

     

  • At 1:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I was going to say that it looks like a strawberry alarm clock (sorry, couldn't help that one).....but I like Jerry's idea of proclaiming it to be art. Candy, do you realize all of the accidental art you have stumbled upon? Lizzie, Linty, and now this strawberry?

     

  • At 1:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I also think it looks a lot like those Native American carvings of bears that you see in the souvenir shops.

     

  • At 1:20 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Jerry, how is it that just when I think my life has backed me into a corner, you come up with so very many options for me! And all of them sound deliciously numb.

    Although, I did a lot of screamin' 'n' shit yesterday and all I got was some white zinfandel and an ice cream sandwich.

     

  • At 1:21 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Futuresis...That's IT! I'm an artist! Between your advice and Jerry's, I'm on my way to a national showing.

    But I do have to admit that Lizzy (freshly dead version AND desiccated one) was art. True art.

     

  • At 2:33 PM, Blogger prairie biker said…

    Do strawberries even go with anchovy?

     

  • At 2:48 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    I hate you, PB. I mean, I loves ya, but I hate you.

     

  • At 12:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You can't tell me that it isn't the spittin' image of our thirty-seventh president, Richard M. Nixon. Around the eyes, I mean....

     

  • At 1:32 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Tony, I can almost hear the words being whispered from his mouth: "Pray with me, Henry!"

     

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