Candy Rant

"I killed a rat with a stick once."

Sunday, September 23, 2007


Here is another of my favorite tidbits from the college freshman writing assignment entitled "Who Do You Wish Would Just Shut Up and Why":

"Like I said, I am NOT a mean person. In fact, I am a VERY nonviolent person, but I would like to tear his balls off, so that he has to live without them for the rest of his days. He's so RACIST! And he's half-Mexican! F*ck him!"


  • At 8:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Yes, I can tell the writer doesn't have a mean or violent bone in his or her body. It's so obvious.

    I hope you're packing a stun-gun to class with you each day.

  • At 10:47 AM, Blogger Jerry said…

    Well, at least you won't have to teach him to how to express his emotions--unless you want the to sublimate them to a higher purpose. Or, unless you are looking for rational emotionalism. Then you might have an instructional issue.

    But, look at what a great teaching moment this is: "Drop your pencil, and back away from the paper."

    Every good teacher need a stun-gun these days. Not to use, you understand, but to communicate your position on misbehavior.

  • At 10:47 AM, Blogger Hoosier Mama said…

    Wow! I didn't know Gandhi was alive and well, and sitting (ever-so-passively, of course) in a community college writing class.

  • At 10:56 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    HA! You guys are great on a Monday morning. I needed a laugh.

    The writer of this gem is a girl. And the whole paper was like this. The actual main theme was her hatred of what she calls "sl*tty b*tches." I will use asterisks here so I don't get a whole lotta google hits I don't want.

    Jerry, I'm very careful with my stun-gun. I simply use it as an accessory, right next to the 40 oz. can of Mace hanging on my utility belt.

    Ghandi. Yeah. He'd last about 4 minutes in my class. They'd beat him to death.

  • At 12:37 PM, Blogger prairie biker said…

    Well, that's another one added to my list of "Girls not to trust to give me fellatio".

  • At 12:40 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Oh no! That brings the list to, what...TWO?? And since the other one was Leona Helmsley, it's down to just one again.

  • At 7:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I'll have you know that I was going through a really ugly break-up when I wrote that paper. But instead of tearing his balls off, I settled for just lacing his Pop Tarts with Ex-Lax. So there! See, I'm really NOT a violent person!

    But I still hate those sl*tty b*tches!

  • At 7:52 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Of COURSE you aren't violent, Jackie! Never never never. I simply do not recall a time when you and I stuffed bodies in your trunk together. And the REASON I don't remember is that it never happened. Nosiree.

    But nobody'll miss a few sl*tty b*tches anywho, right?

  • At 8:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Damnit! I think somebody put Ex-Lax in my Pop Tarts!


    Oh no......uh, I'll be right back.

  • At 8:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Wow. That was strange.

    I bought these Pop Tarts from this half-Mexican guy out in front of the Speedway near my house. He was selling them from the trunk of his old Cutlass.

    He seemed kind of racist to me, which I thought odd, since he was half-Mexican and all....but what a deal for Pop Tarts! I couldn't pass it up!

    Oh no.....

  • At 9:41 PM, Blogger Steve B said…

    I guess she's never heard of "emotional" violence, eh?

    Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words crush my spirit.

  • At 9:50 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Futuresis, It was a CUTLASS! Could there be a more ominous sign?

    Steve, yeah, that's going to be tomorrow's lesson in class. Emotional violence.

  • At 1:11 PM, Blogger Citlali said…

    lol. Wow. How can you say this job ain't worth stayin' in? It's SO entertaining??? lol. = ]


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