Candy Rant

"I killed a rat with a stick once."

Monday, September 10, 2007

Pretending That Football is a Sport


I don't know nothin' about football. And I don't care to know. But I like the sounds of the crowd from the TV. I also like the way Scott falls into a deep, happy trance in his deep, happy recliner when the Steelers play.

And I especially like when he makes snacks that are somehow, he says, connected to the "sport" of football. Because even though I think the only real sport is basketball, I got to eat some of these wings.

25 Comments:

  • At 7:55 AM, Blogger Jerry said…

    Spoken like a true Hoosier. In the south, when providing fellow sports fans a sample of our chicken delights, we ask, "Yu-ont sum wangs?"

     
  • At 9:23 AM, Blogger prairie biker said…

    I'm just thinking of all the good clean fun I could have were I around when Scott is lost in said trance and if I had a sharpie marker with me.

     
  • At 9:41 AM, Anonymous Jackie O. said…

    Thank God for wings and other greasy goodies! For me, watching football is like looking at a blank wall. If it weren't for the snacks, I'd have to give myself swirlies just to keep from dying of boredom.

     
  • At 10:01 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    That's perfect, Jerry. I'm sure I could never do it justice with my yankee self. The most interesting thing we said in Indiana is "See-mint" for cement.

    PB, you wouldn't Sharpie him...you'd have him outside in a poncho making more wangs.

     
  • At 10:02 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Jackie, I happen to know for a fact that you give yourself swirlies just for fun. Every day.

     
  • At 10:43 AM, Blogger Norma said…

    I'm so hungry looking at that picture! What is this foosball you speak of?

     
  • At 10:51 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Norma, I have no friggin idea. Some kind of playground game where guys jump on each other and grunt a lot.

    I need to watch "Waterboy" to bone up on it. So to speak.

     
  • At 11:22 AM, Blogger EB said…

    Ok girls. . . there are tight ends and boys in tight pants, which, when the pants are white, show visible jock straps (sorta like visible panty lines, but more odd). If that's not enough to get you interested, I clearly don't know you.

    One team's mission is to get the ball to the other end of the field (the end zone), and the other team's mission is to beat the hell out of whoever has the ball.

    If you learn three rules and three players' names, you'll love the game.

     
  • At 11:30 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Ewwww! A visible jock strap? I just puked into my cream of wheat. No. No no no. You can have my share of that meatneck world.

    I knew the names of three football players when I taught them at the university. And it only made me hate the game more.

    And I recall you, EB, slicing a few up with your verbal cuisinart. It was like watching magic.

     
  • At 12:00 PM, Anonymous c... said…

    damn. now i need wings. where does one find wings in this former town of yours?

     
  • At 12:18 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    At the airport. You go there, get on a plane, and come here. And we will give you a steaming plate of spicy hot wings.

    Er, I mean, wangs.

     
  • At 12:51 PM, Anonymous Ana said…

    Yes, please.

     
  • At 12:55 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Your reservation has been acknowledged.
    Bring a bib.

     
  • At 3:31 PM, Blogger Mad Grad Mom said…

    And, oh Candy, do we know how you like them wangs!

     
  • At 3:32 PM, Blogger Mad Grad Mom said…

    And, of course Candy, this will lead you to make a joke about me and wangs . . .

    But it's no joke. It's for reals.

     
  • At 7:03 PM, Blogger c . . . said…

    i have spicy hot wangs here ... mgm is still in the office.

    i'll come to fenix when it gets cooler. watch out.

     
  • At 7:06 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Mad Grad, I would NEVER make a joke about you and "wangs." I know yo momma raised you to be a ho, and you cain't hep it.

    C... Please look after her. She is long overdue for a penicillin shot.

     
  • At 7:44 AM, Blogger Carin said…

    Yum. I'm supposed to make some of those for my children today.

     
  • At 9:04 AM, Anonymous Tony from the Bronx said…

    This game of "foot-ball" you speak of, "...game where guys jump on each other and grunt a lot" We too have such a game. It is played in a remote part of the city called "The Village." But I don't see the connection with chicken wings.

     
  • At 9:38 AM, Anonymous Scott P said…

    I think the techniques are similar, Tony. Apparently you get fried, heavily sauced, then you pile on top of each other.

    Blecch.

     
  • At 11:11 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Carin...Bring yer clan out here. Road trip. Wings will be waiting. Really messy, spicy ones.

     
  • At 11:12 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Tony, yeah, listen to Scott. He's all "blecch" about it now. But it was a different story on the weekend. He was mightily sauced.

     
  • At 6:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

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  • At 7:03 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

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  • At 7:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

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