What They Did On Their Summer Vacation

Sometimes at the beginning of the semester, a writing teacher, even a college one, asks her students to free-write an informal paper about their summer. It's just a way to get a look at their writing style, see the various levels of talent in the class, get an idea of how to better teach them. We call it "diagnostic" writing.

I don't give that particular assignment. I write a topic on the whiteboard (them there thangs was CHALKboards back in my day) and have my students write for 20 minutes, nonstop. The topic: "Who do you wish would just shut up, and why?" They seem to like this subject. I get all kinds of answers.

"My mom"

"My sister"

"George Bush"

"This girl named Caitlyn"

"All cellebbrities" (sic)

"Rosie O'Donald" (sic)

"The media"

"I don't wish for anyone to shut up" (lameass student who can't follow instructions and probably is a suck up of a human to begin with)

"The guy who announces for the Cubs. He is no Harry Carry." (sic)

"My stepmom."

"Some guy who I don't know his name but I don't like him."

One of my favorite passages was from the guy who wanted the media to shut up. He wrote "Who the hell cares about Michael Vicks" (sic) (and sick) "or Paris Hilton. They are just people doing ignornt" (sic) "shit like the rest of us."

So there.