Candy Rant

"I killed a rat with a stick once."

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

What They Did On Their Summer Vacation

Sometimes at the beginning of the semester, a writing teacher, even a college one, asks her students to free-write an informal paper about their summer. It's just a way to get a look at their writing style, see the various levels of talent in the class, get an idea of how to better teach them. We call it "diagnostic" writing.

I don't give that particular assignment. I write a topic on the whiteboard (them there thangs was CHALKboards back in my day) and have my students write for 20 minutes, nonstop. The topic: "Who do you wish would just shut up, and why?" They seem to like this subject. I get all kinds of answers.

"My mom"

"My sister"

"George Bush"

"This girl named Caitlyn"

"All cellebbrities" (sic)

"Rosie O'Donald" (sic)

"The media"

"I don't wish for anyone to shut up" (lameass student who can't follow instructions and probably is a suck up of a human to begin with)

"The guy who announces for the Cubs. He is no Harry Carry." (sic)

"My stepmom."

"Some guy who I don't know his name but I don't like him."

One of my favorite passages was from the guy who wanted the media to shut up. He wrote "Who the hell cares about Michael Vicks" (sic) (and sick) "or Paris Hilton. They are just people doing ignornt" (sic) "shit like the rest of us."

So there.

17 Comments:

  • At 2:45 PM, Anonymous Scott P said…

    A lot of your students seem to be (sic). Is there some kind of bug going around? Heh.

     
  • At 2:49 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Yeah, there's some kinda bug going around what causes ignernts.

     
  • At 2:51 PM, Anonymous Hoosier Mama said…

    Dang! He can't even spell ignert!

     
  • At 2:54 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Indeed he cannot. He must be put into the cage out back with the rest.

     
  • At 7:35 PM, Blogger Carin said…

    I don't want Rosie to shut up ... the stupid, it burns, but it has a purpose. I was at her site today, which inspired my Def Mos post, which got a Protein Wisdom link. THANKS ROSIE!

     
  • At 9:50 PM, Anonymous Ana said…

    Some guy who I don't know his name. Excellent. It's like he started to explain who the guy was but then said fuck it I don't know his name. Sort of a stream of consciousness exercise. Does he always write in character like that or is he a dumbass? Or sumpin.

     
  • At 9:50 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    True, Carin. Rosie is DELICIOUSLY stupid. When I read some of her quotes to my students on 9/11, they were amazed that she can walk upright.

    I actually used to like her, way back in the day when she was a VH-1 vee-jay. Then she grew hideously stupid.

     
  • At 10:02 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    I loved that one too, Ana. But it was more like stream-of-stonedness.

     
  • At 2:08 PM, Blogger Jerry said…

    I can already see one or two who will be running for the Senate and the ignernt one could be a presidential candidate if he can learn how to steal as good as he writes.

     
  • At 7:32 PM, Blogger prairie biker said…

    Just how does one get to a Tier 1 University without being able to spell? Much less graduate from same?

     
  • At 7:38 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    PB, This ain't no tier 1 place. It's a community college. But the spelling was just as bad at the "prestigious" university I just left.

    It makes you wanna swallow a jackhammer.

     
  • At 7:38 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    And Jerry, the sad thing is, I'll probably be working for them.

     
  • At 7:53 PM, Anonymous Scott P said…

    "It makes you wanna swallow a jackhammer."

    Comic gold. Pure comic gold.

     
  • At 7:56 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Oh, you're just saying that because you have to come home to me and I have PMS. The kind that starts its own country.

     
  • At 9:19 PM, Anonymous Scott P said…

    Not true, funny is funny.

    Uh, I do have a late meeting, though...

     
  • At 2:04 PM, Blogger Steven said…

    You know, the funny thing is, that at first I only read the post headline, "What they did on their summer vacation," and then glanced down to see some of the replies in the list. My mom, my sister, a girl name Caitlyn, George Bush.

    My first thought was, "oh my!"

    Snicker.

     
  • At 2:10 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    HA! That'd make
    "Some guy who I don't know his name but I don't like him."
    even funnier.

     

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