One of My Problems is That I Want My Mom to Live Forever

There's a part of me that I can't even translate, wordless and elusive. An out-of-the-corner-of-my-eye glimpse of an understanding. Inside that is an earnest feeling that I don't think it's fair that I should ever have to lose my mom, because my dad was taken. Not only is it selfish for many reasons (especially the fact that she wants to reunite with my dad, and everyone who loves her also wants that for her someday), but it's something that has creeped up on me recently. A tapping on the shoulder. Do mid-life emotions regress to childhood? It's late. Good night.