A Particular Kind of Loneliness

The kind you feel when you've made a mistake, hurt a friend, and now they can't stand the sight of you. Even after you apologize, and even though they know you've agonized all the way down to your bone marrow for months. People have to get over betrayal in their own time. The mistake that you made may have been a relatively small one that knocked over a single domino that led to lots of other things falling down, ending in great pain for your friend. Your love for them only makes your pain and remorse twist and squirm all the more. There is nothing you can do to hurry the healing. You can pray. In fact, you can pray all you want. But then you still have to just wait. Your only choice is to find a peaceful way to be inside the pain. That's hard.