Candy Rant

"I killed a rat with a stick once."

Saturday, January 29, 2011

I Need More Hours!

This semester has started off at full throttle and as a result I've been having to neglect almost everything fun. I'm even behind on the Beer Diary! The empty bottles are stacking up.

I just read the most horrible student poem I've seen in years. There's no way I can put even an intact line from it up on this site, but I'll give you some hints. He uses these words in it:

Lips
Squirm
Succulent
Nectar
Spasms

I made Scott read it and he threw it down and said "I feel dirty just touching this!" We're workshopping it in class on Wednesday, and there is no way on this spinning planet that the poet's classmates are going to get through his reading of it without convulsing. And not in the way he'd like.

Years ago I had to deal with this same scenario. A bad-ass looking guy who was 6-foot-5 wrote this poem about "her pink blossom bloomed under my fingers." I had to rush in and save him from complete humiliation when the class veered off into an uncontrollable hyena-laughfest.

This new guy? He's on his own. The other guy was trying most earnestly to write beautiful romantic poetry. This guy just wants attention. So be it.

3 Comments:

  • At 9:08 AM, Blogger Steve B said…

    Hopefully he didn't try to weave in "succubus."

     
  • At 1:11 PM, Blogger MamaMidwife said…

    Ack! I feel dirty reading it second-hand. Ew!!! Thanks for the visual delight, student who annoys me (way up here in WI).

    Can't wait to hear how it turns out.

    And I have to say it again: Massengil. Bwahahahahaha!!

     
  • At 5:45 PM, Blogger laurazim said…

    Uh............erm........ew.

    A full report on the ensuing workshop will be much appreciated....

     

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