Candy Rant

"I killed a rat with a stick once."

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Very Quick Non-Update on Flapjaw

The class containing the jaw-flapping Flapjaw only met once last week, with Labor Day and all.

During that class Flapjaw was surprisingly quiet! He didn't cause me one speck of a problem, nor did he interrupt his fellow students.

Of course, he was absent.

As I stood outside in the hallway talking with another student after class, here comes Flapjaw, rushing by us to get into the now-darkened classroom. Back out he comes, perplexed and sweaty.

"Did I miss the abduction?" he says.

"Uh, what?" I say.

"The alien abduction. Where is everybody?"

"Class was at 2:00," I tell him.

"Oh NO!" He is very dismayed by his error.

I am dismayed because the deep-in-the-soul-happiness that brewed inside me when I suspected Flapjaw might have dropped the course, has now turned into cold coffee grounds in my heart.

He pulls out his paper to turn in to me. "I'm so sorry I missed class," Flapjaw flaps.

"It happens," I say. And dashed hopes also happen. And baby unicorns get backed over by cement trucks. Because Flapjaw has come back.

This Tuesday, regular class resumes. I shall report. Just after I'm allowed to make my one phone call.


  • At 8:01 PM, Blogger laurazim said…

    Thanks!! *big sigh* Ok, that was worth it, even though you were crushed. I particularly enjoyed the bit about the unicorns...........but I'm a bit of a sadist that way. ;)

    Can't wait to read the actual update update next week.............

  • At 8:02 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    I didn't wanna let down my laurazim!!

  • At 10:17 PM, Anonymous Jackie O. said…

    There's room for Flapjaw in my crawlspace, Candy--but just barely! You're gonna have to find a new hiding spot for your *special* students.

  • At 1:28 PM, Anonymous MightyMighty said…

    I have a student who is completely helpless, and peppers me with questions, despite the fact that I have him for study hall.'s not my job to direct you any more than "do some work."

  • At 5:55 PM, Blogger laurazim said…

    Woman, you make life difficult. How? By not updating the Flapjaw story. For a week.

    We wait.

    security word: dingring. Definition: what Flapjaw probably is. A dingring. Or at least, a ding-a-ling. Close enough.

  • At 3:03 AM, Anonymous Steve B said…

    "OOOH! OOOOH! OOH! Mistah Cahtah! Mistah Cahtah!"

    We call those types "spring butts," from when you had to stand up to ask a question in my military science classes. There where those types who were always bouncing up like they had springs between their butt and the chair.


  • At 1:19 PM, Anonymous Banjo said…

    Gosh I'm enjoying this! Candy, you have obviously struck a chord with those of us who also teach, er, I mean facilitate learning.

  • At 1:55 AM, Blogger Steve Berven said…

    "Facilitate Learning."

    Harraeargghghurgle. Hate that. Along with "cooperative learning" and "discovery learning."

    One is essentially institutionalized cheating, the other basically stumbling around and hoping you find the right answer by yourself.

    For all our rhetoric about how important teachers are (for the children!!), we sure make it hard for them to actually TEACH.'


    Word: "inshe"

    As in eubonics for "inshe the greatest teachah evah?"


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