Candy Rant

"I killed a rat with a stick once."

Monday, June 15, 2009

Calling All Bird Experts



For the last couple of days there has been an abundance of bird sex in our backyard. There are two doves that are especially into it. For the first time in my life, I saw two birds having sex. (And then a second time, and then a third.) Most people have probably seen this by the time they're middle-aged. I was on the phone with my mom, looking outside, when the two birds were banging like there was no tomorrow. I didn't know they were doves, and only found this out when I described them to Mom. She knows her birds.

"And I do have a bird book, you know," she says.

Here's the question for the experts:

After the doves finished with their jackhammering, they did this little ring-around-the-rosie dance, all wings and speed, only it was more of a "Oh-my-gosh-we-just-had-sex-I-canNOT-believe-it!" dance. It was at lightning speed, around and around in circles, so that I lost track of which bird had been on top during the freak show.

Normally I would not be very concerned with which bird was which. But I was this time. Why? Because as soon as they stopped and shook off their dizziness, one of the birds pecked the HELL out of the other's neck. The back of the neck. Peckpeckpeckpeckpeckpeckpeck. Really hard. And I want to know, bird experts, was it the female pecking the male? Or the male pecking the female? My mom's theory is that it was the male telling the female the bird equivalent of "Slam bam thank you m'am" or just "Good girl!" But I'm not convinced. Could it have been the female pummeling the male in a "You never buy me jewelry!" kind of way?

15 Comments:

  • At 6:08 PM, Anonymous Scott P said…

    Of course it's the female pummeling the male. He obviously forgot to take out the trash.

     
  • At 11:36 PM, Blogger MamaMidwife said…

    Or maybe he stopped before she was "done". Guys do that sometimes.

     
  • At 12:09 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    HA!! Both are very possible reasons. I wish I could just ask them!

     
  • At 10:07 AM, Blogger Jenni said…

    It was the male pummelling the female. It's a dominance thing. Sorry, but them's the facts.

    Both the male and the female take turns sitting on the eggs and raising the babies, however.

    We have no end of mourning doves around here. Here's a little more edumacation if you want it...

    http://animaldiversity.ummz.umich.edu/site/accounts/information/Zenaida_macroura.html

     
  • At 10:09 AM, Blogger Jenni said…

    Oops. The last half of that link is:

    information/Zenaida_macroura.html

     
  • At 3:04 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Durn it. I thought it was payback from the female.
    I mean, he's ALREADY dominated her, and has to pour salt on the wound by pecking her on the neck?

    I hope she runs up all his credit cards.

     
  • At 4:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It was the female. She was saying, "Damnit, I told you I had a headache!" Anita

     
  • At 10:32 PM, Anonymous Ana said…

    Bastids!

     
  • At 11:01 PM, Blogger MamaMidwife said…

    I was over at Laurazim's house tonight while she read your post. Her husband had to come in and remind her to breath she was laughing so hard.

    If she does run up his credit cards I hope it's for spa treatments and egg sitters.

     
  • At 11:53 PM, Anonymous JWebb said…

    I need to start keeping a journal of google searches I do based on your posts. "Dove post-intercourse neck pecking," for instance....

     
  • At 12:06 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Spa treatments with the finest of marble bird baths and a huge, newly-cleaned windshield to splat poop on.

    JWebb, you make that phrase sound so poetic!

     
  • At 12:18 AM, Anonymous banjo said…

    "Dove post intercourse neck pecking?" Ha,ha,ha.

    This sounds like just another Ringed-neck dove that needs to be more responsible with his pecker. I mean, fun is fun until someone loses an eye, right?

     
  • At 10:15 AM, Anonymous Tony said…

    Actually, it's been scientifically proven in an Independent Scientific Research University Hospital that many species practice sex-partner pummeling before, during, and after sex. Homo sapiens a prime instance.

     
  • At 12:51 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Banjo, now I know why we've got so many one-eyed pigeons flying around here, and bumping into stuff.

     
  • At 12:52 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Tony, I've tried the before, during, and after-pummeling. It's exhausting. :)

     

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