Calling All Bird Experts

For the last couple of days there has been an abundance of bird sex in our backyard. There are two doves that are especially into it. For the first time in my life, I saw two birds having sex. (And then a second time, and then a third.) Most people have probably seen this by the time they're middle-aged. I was on the phone with my mom, looking outside, when the two birds were banging like there was no tomorrow. I didn't know they were doves, and only found this out when I described them to Mom. She knows her birds.

"And I do have a bird book, you know," she says.

Here's the question for the experts:

After the doves finished with their jackhammering, they did this little ring-around-the-rosie dance, all wings and speed, only it was more of a "Oh-my-gosh-we-just-had-sex-I-canNOT-believe-it!" dance. It was at lightning speed, around and around in circles, so that I lost track of which bird had been on top during the freak show.

Normally I would not be very concerned with which bird was which. But I was this time. Why? Because as soon as they stopped and shook off their dizziness, one of the birds pecked the HELL out of the other's neck. The back of the neck. Peckpeckpeckpeckpeckpeckpeck. Really hard. And I want to know, bird experts, was it the female pecking the male? Or the male pecking the female? My mom's theory is that it was the male telling the female the bird equivalent of "Slam bam thank you m'am" or just "Good girl!" But I'm not convinced. Could it have been the female pummeling the male in a "You never buy me jewelry!" kind of way?