He is Very Earnest About His Walk

In fact, I'll bet he's earnest about almost everything. How could he not be with a last name like that one?

It's obvious that "exercisewalking" is something else that Gary is earnest about, judging from the 2 hairy redwood trunks that reside where his legs should be. Those hiking boots each weigh 64 pounds, so not just any guy can make this rugged trek through the forest. It takes this guy.

Admittedly, he is probably feeling the tiniest twinge of remorse for having just run into Paul Bunyan in the woods, and killing him with his very own axe. And then Gary jumped onto poor blue Babe and wrestled him onto a barbecue pit. 3 quick turns over the flame and presto! A delicious oxen brunch in the forest! An athlete needs his protein.

But with a brisk exercisewalk, especially in the perfect "Keep On Truckin'" pose, he can clear his guilty head and go home to sort his socks, the blacks and the browns and the whites, fresh and warm from the dryer.