Candy Rant

"I killed a rat with a stick once."

Wednesday, January 28, 2009


My family has been sending me their snow photos all day.
And their stories of snow, ice, school closings, slick highways, and all those other midwest weather treats. I've felt guilty for being in the desert, wishing I could zap them all here.

But this picture made me laugh. Something about my sister's attitude translating into the ruler she jammed into the snow.

If I phoned her and said something pukey like "Well WE got nothing but SUNSHINE here today" she would slither through the phone line and chew my face off like a mongoose.


  • At 9:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…


    The ruler in the snowbank reminds me of rather bad jokes about snow.

    Snowstorms are like sex . . . you never know how much you're going to get or how long it's going to last.

    Or . . . if Hank Snow had married Mae West there would have been 6 inches of Snow in Mae.

    Oh, never mind. I . . um . . . I'm losing it here!!!

  • At 9:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Well, you're right about that one!!! Don't you DARE tell me you sat by the pool today like Wilma did!!

  • At 3:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I miss snow. Light, fluffy snow. The kind you want to fall down and make angels in.

    Ugh. I just threw up in my mouth a little.

  • At 5:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I know there is something wrong with me, but I LOVE all this snow! I will never, ever complain about shoveling snow--not after having a scorpion in my kitchen sink and roaches crawling up the drains. Nope. Give me snow any day. Creepy crawlies die in this kind of cold.

  • At 9:11 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    I'm losing it, too, banjo.
    And I love those if he married her jokes.

    Mae West would love that one her own dang self.

  • At 9:11 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Anonymous, you are my sister. And I'm sorry that you've gone insane.

  • At 9:12 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    I'm siding with futuresis, Scott, because I like snow.
    I will try to convert you.

  • At 9:16 PM, Blogger E. said…

    Well, I for one am loving all this snow, cold, and grey, mucky sleet. I can't imagine doing without it! All that sunshine - it must be such a burden for you. (Lying to myself through the teeth of my frozen brain.)

  • At 9:36 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    E., I wish wish wish I could stuff Ziploc bags FULL of the sunshine and send it to you so you could open them all day long.

    I actually don't miss snow QUITE as much as I thought I would. That long stay in Indiana sort of took some of the snow-charm away.

  • At 4:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You like the if x married y jokes, huh? OK, well, if Michelle Obama divorced the prez and married the Dala Lama, wouln't she be Michelle Obama Lama? (Don't confuse with the Rama Lama Ding Dong.)

  • At 4:18 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Poifect, Tony!

    Yes, I love those jokes. I can't help it. And the dumb book jokes. "Under the Bleachers" by Seymour Butts. I am as highbrow as they git.

  • At 4:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You know, it suddenly ocurred to me that a lot of people confuse the Dala Lama with the excellent actor, Lorenzo Lamas. Of course they're not the same people at all. You can tell them apart by the way they dress. Just wanted everybody to know.

  • At 4:55 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Also, the Dalai Lama wishes to implant hefty spiritual ideas into the minds of the masses. And Lorenzo Lamas just wants to get his hands on some massive implants.


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