Candy Rant

"I killed a rat with a stick once."

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Tiny Packets of Joy

Some days don't go all that well. (Like today for instance. I've been pinpointedly focused on trying not to vomit. Ate something bad at an Italian restaurant last night and have been hanging on for dear life all day. I feel as though I devoured a brick, and washed it down with nine quarts of Pennzoil.)

And then I find something that is very small, but that I like very very much, and it's like a little packet of sugar poured into the bitter cauldron of boiling hemlock that is my mood. Today I found it in last week's TV Guide.

The description for America's Funniest Home Videos was this simple sentence:

"A man in a bear costume wakes someone up."

This is my packet. Please, tell me what bolsters you when you're riding that unicycle into the darkness. I'd like to know.


  • At 8:38 AM, Blogger mgm said…

    You can't help but laugh.

  • At 10:58 AM, Blogger Jerry said…

    Jack Handey!

    "Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there, in the room, talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books."

  • At 11:36 AM, Blogger Domhan said…

    The look I get from Sig Oth every time he watches the original Star Trek (over and over the last 40 years) and I say, "Oh, man! This is a rerun!"

    I live for that look.

    It's revenge for every time the original Star Trek would come on (over and over the last 40 years) and 2.5 seconds into the broadcast he'd say, "Hey, I know which episode THIS one is!"

    I think he lives for the look he gets, too.

  • At 12:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Visions of Ropewalk! Only the swimming pool could heal.

  • At 3:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Truth be told, I buy lip gloss when I'm really down and out. But OMG I don't want you to think that I'm, like, totally superficial or something.

    [Admires own pedicure for 20 minutes]

  • At 4:08 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Jack Handey is SO great. My favorite of his: "It was almost as if the birds were calling his name, thought Caw."

  • At 4:10 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Domhan, I can totally picture that look of the Sig Oth. He knows how to give a serious evil eye.

    Jackie O., I admire your pedicure in my heart every day. Which sounds painful now that I read it.

    I love buying lipgloss too. Even a chintzy Wet 'n' Wild 99-cent lipstick can make me happy.

  • At 4:16 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    mgm, I watched it 5 times. And laughed like a buffoon every time.

    Ooooh...someone's jangling sparkly keys!

  • At 1:03 AM, Blogger Unknown said… has saved my bacon from oblivion a few times.

    *hangs head in shame*

  • At 1:13 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    WHAT??!! SHAME?!

    I don't go to that site nearly enough. Which is odd because I love kitties and I love kitties in hats and such.

    There is no shame, Mel. I join you in solidarity.

  • At 1:13 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    p.s. And wish, so much, that I'd thought of that site. Egads.

  • At 7:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Whenever Ol' Man Blues comes my way I just shut my eyes and repeat over and over, "Would you like a lemon twist or an olive with that, sir? Real soothing in these uncertain times.

  • At 8:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    My tiny packet of joy is going to candyrant. I am not being a suck up. I mean it. You bring me joy so often.

    Sorry, all of the other moments of joy are candy related. The real candy. I had a Jujyfruit party last night. That movie candy that gets stuck in your teeth. You can get the big movie theater boxes at Walmart for 88 cents!

  • At 1:06 PM, Blogger Citlali said…

    whoa! I ate a bad calamari steak once in an ITALIAN restaurant!! yep, was up all night with stomach cramps from hell and nausea -- couldn't even throw up until the next day. THEN to tie off with a bow, it lead to my first and only bout with strep throat. boy did I love that. I'm feelen' your pain. Liar Liar, is my recommendation. It's funny EVERY time. = ]

  • At 1:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Puppy therapy! (yes, I have another--Bardo, a six week old bundle of fluff)


  • At 1:28 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Tony/Anonymous, mix one for me. Better yet, make me a thermos-full.

    Belle, you're sweet. And so is that nasty snack you ate. Oh, how I also love the Jujyfruits. And the Good 'n Plenty and the Hot Tamales. I get one of those big Walmart boxes every time I fly and pretty much sugar myself into a chihuahua.

  • At 1:33 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Cramps 'n' Strep, Citlali! Sounds like a restaurant from the Dark Ages. What a fun couple of days that was, huh?

    I'm almost totally better today. Thank God. Scott cured me with his homemade pizza last night.

  • At 1:36 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    E, you always pick out good names.

    I love me the puppies. Someday I hope to get another kitty, but right now I can't even imagine holding a cat. Still miss Hankie too much.

    My dream is to get a puppy and kitten at the same time, and have the kitten educate the puppy on how to use a litter box.

    I'll bet your kids are having big fun with Bardo. Even the baby, right?

  • At 8:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    1. Looking at the photo journal you sent from the good old cheerleading days.

    2. Cartoons. Classic Looney Toons, in particular.

    And I know it's been awhile, but your previous post had me more than a little surprised at first glance! I was about to fly out there and beat you for not telling me the news! I have always thought that Rosacea sounds lovely. The word. Not the condition, of course. That's a real bitch, I hear.


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