Candy Rant

"I killed a rat with a stick once."

Tuesday, December 18, 2007


So sad to see this one go.

Why I never got around to reading this literary gem is a mystery too deep for me to ponder.

As is the mystery of how such a treasure could be found abandoned in a sale bin at Waldenbooks for $1.29. I'm certain that it smeared the reputation of that little neighborhood, filled mostly with Golden Apples of Poetry and The Best of Guideposts. It was like O.J. Simpson moving in next door to June Lockhart.

If only I'd curled up with a nice cup of cocoa and read about "A Year in the Life of a Pimp" I might have learned some new complex methods of bitchslapping to use on my students.

Another lost opportunity.


  • At 9:35 AM, Blogger EB said…

    I can't believe you're letting that one go. It is, if nothing else, a great conversation piece. You might want to rethink this one, Candy.

    P.S. Re: the shoveling of sunshine. . . you make me want to puke.

  • At 11:34 AM, Blogger Carin said…

    Oh. My. Lord. I really have nothing that compares to that. But, of course I'm a "thrower." My husband BEGS me not the throw the newspaper away before he gets home from work.

  • At 11:43 AM, Blogger Domhan said…

    Why, oh WHY are you not selling this stuff on ebay? You could make a snoutful of cash! (Not to mention the stories of just how much money people are willing to spend on your purging!)

  • At 12:00 PM, Blogger Citlali said…

    Yes, it really IS a shame to let that priceless bitchslapping expertise right at your fingertips go unread, unlearned. Scott might not appreciate me saying that, but the truth is the truth and it must be said... = ]

  • At 1:21 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    EB, actually I've reconsidered. I can't let it go. It's too funny.

    Carin, we need you desperately at our house. Come now.

  • At 1:24 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Domhan, I piled up all kinds of stuff to sell on ebay, and then it just seemed easier to toss it. Because there is SO MUCH CRAP on there. For instance, that Incredible Hulk ornament? There were already 5 on there, lonely and ignored.

    You never know what will sell, though. I just sold a Doris Lessing book on amazon today for $147. I had JUST LISTED IT last night. I'm an idiot. I should've priced it higher. The next highest was $215. But so many times those are "maybe there's someone stupid enough out there to buy it for this much" prices.

    My clue should've been that even Powells bookstore didn't have a copy.

    Oh well, live and learn. I'm going to up the price on my donor eggs now. Heh.

  • At 1:26 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Citlali, it's taken a few months, but Scott has learned how to effectively protect himself from my bitchslaps. I won't say how, but it is very simple and it makes me collapse like a fainting goat.

  • At 1:51 PM, Blogger Domhan said…

    Oh, lord. "...but it is very simple and it makes me collapse like a fainting goat" was funny enough, but I first read it as "but it is very simple and it INVOLVES a fainting goat."

    Very different scenario, I must say.

    And now, my mind is doing terrible, terrible things.

  • At 1:55 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Oops, I DID mean to say it involves a fainting goat.
    Very sharp of you, Domhan.

  • At 2:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    What I don't understand is why the cover designer felt that it was necessary to clarify that "Gentleman of Leisure" was about "A Year in the Life of a Pimp." Don't we all associate "gentleman" with "pimp?" The terms are practically interchangeable.

    What do you mean by only learning bitchslapping techniques? You could learn to be a full-fledged pimp, for heaven's sake! Or, I suppose "madam" would be the proper term, except that you don't often hear of madams bitchslapping anyone. They probably don't get as big of a percentage, either.

  • At 2:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    That book reminded me of something:

    "Who wrote the book of love? Velvet."

    I wonder if anyone will get that?

  • At 5:49 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    You mean VELVET JONES???

    And when in court because his book "How to Be a Ho" didn't make money for one tube-topped ho, Velvet said "Three words, y'honor: The bitch UGLY!"

  • At 6:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    HA! Yes! It's Velvet Jones! You got it!!!! Nobody EVER knows what I'm talking about when I say that!

  • At 6:08 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    I was addicted to that show before you were BORN!

    I loves me the Velvet.


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