More Bonding With Mom
I've mentioned before that my mom is a food bully.
When I was in Indiana last week, I was making myself a turkey and cheese sandwich for lunch.
Mom: You want some sweet pickle slices on that?
(She knows I have always hated sweet pickles like I hate a rake in the face.)
Candy: No, I don't like sweet pickles.
Mom: You asshole.
Candy: I'm an asshole because I don't like sweet pickles?!
Mom: Yes. Asshole.
Hear ye, hear ye. Let it be known throughout the land that if any person shall reject the offer of a sweet pickle, that person shall become a giant rectum for all time.
posted by Candy Rant @ 8:34 PM
7 Comments:
At 9:55 AM,
Anonymous said…
Dude, I'm just glad you chose a picture of the PICKLES to illustrate your post.
At 10:05 AM,
Scott P said…
Dang, pinkthis, that was funny.
At 1:44 PM,
Candy Rant said…
It's our personal brand of mother-daughter banter. Kind of like smearing peanut butter on a dog's eyebrows instead of petting it.
At 1:44 PM,
Candy Rant said…
HA!!! Pinkthis. The decision was a tough one.
At 2:30 AM,
Citlali said…
Makes me wish my mom was like that. hugs = ]
At 9:15 PM,
Anonymous said…
Well, I was having some serious thoughts so I thought I'd visit candyrant for some happy thoughts. When I read this one, I began convulsing - even though this woman is MY mother, too! I don't understand - she never speaks to me that way. Maybe our Mom is schizophrenic OR candy brings out and savage in her!
At 10:31 PM,
Candy Rant said…
She doesn't speak to YOU like that because you like all the same gross foods as she does. Sweet pickles, butter, mayonnaise. Eccccch.
I dare you. Just cross her once with your food preference and see what happens. Tell her you don't like reubens anymore. Then duck.
Post a Comment
<< Home