The Next in Line to Be Purged

Don't let his cutesy face fool you. He is guilty.

Soon after this mug shot was taken, he was identified in a line-up as the current most useless object in Candy-World.

It might be different if I knew where he came from or what sentimental value he might hold. But I don't. He was just there, a pebble man at the bottom of a packing box, in his badly painted polka-dot Fort Myers vacation shirt, and his globs of dried rubber cement that attest to an exploded and released internal organ. He was hoping not to be detected and sent the way of the torturous Minnie Mouse shoes. But that is where he must now go.

A moment of silence, please.