Candy Rant

"I killed a rat with a stick once."

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

And Then Sometimes People Practically Volunteer to Be Obliterated From the Earth

They come forth and proclaim themselves too stupid to be alive. Or certainly too stupid to be at a big giant university that prides itself on taking only the best and the brightest. The top-five-percenters of their classes.

Case in point: A freshman walked into the main office of the English Department today and asked, "If my composition class is held in the Speech and Hearing Building, does that mean it'll be taught in sign language?"

This is what we're up against, people. This is our future. (Cue Whitney Houston "I believe the children are the future..." song here.)

Do you know what this means? It means that when people my age are in nursing homes 40 years from now, those running it, the youth of today, will be putting catheters in our mouths, feeding us ground up Barbie dolls, filling our bedpans with poker chips, and spending their free time speaking earnestly to slinkies and Chia pets.

We are doomed. We need to drink the purple Koolaid now.

Gulp. Gulp.



  • At 8:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Candy, wake up! It was just a bad dream!! Your classes are filled with bright students, filled with ambition and eager to learn.



    Oh, well...

  • At 9:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Ah, college students and the sense of entitlement. That's what's getting to me these days.

    Qu. from a student in the first-year composition course : Isn't there some way (rolling her eyes) I could just take this class independent study?

    Here's my translation: I know that I'm one student among 7,500 other first-year students at this university (of 38,000) that seems to care little for undergraduate education at all, but don't you think I'M FRIGGIN' ENTITLED to have my own professor available to me 24-hours a day for this entry-level course? Huh? I'm wearing designer clothes, for god's sake! See my jewel-encrusted cel phone case? My daddy makes a LOT of money!

  • At 7:57 PM, Blogger Gail said…

    And Candy has the students who placed out of my course.


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