Candy Rant

"I killed a rat with a stick once."

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

I Didn't Want to Follow Hankie Week with Just Anything

The goal yesterday for Scott and me was to get out of Phoenix and its noise and heat and pavement and hang out somewhere scenic. We drove up to a beautiful lake near Payson, Arizona.

It rained like the world was ending as we got near the place. But when the rain finally stopped, we got out of the truck and listened to the extreme quiet, interrupted only by the skittering, yes, I said skittering, of a dozen chipmunks nearby.

They made it quite clear that they were tame enough to take food from us. In fact, they very nearly insisted on it. I sat on a rock and fed them cracker bites for twenty minutes. As soon as one left with his/her cracker, another one ran up. They were polite. They even seemed to stand in line sometimes.

Look cute.
Lean in to take cracker.
Scrape tiny claws across human finger while pushing away.
Run three feet away from human.
Eat cracker with loud chomping sounds.
Return to cracker source.

Scott patiently sat right beside me and my handful of gourmet crackers, with his camera. As quietly as he could, he provided an early warning system for me by saying things like "Here comes one from the right. No, make that three."


  • At 1:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Alvin, Theodore, and Simon!

  • At 8:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    The Chipmunk

    My friends all know that I am shy,
    But the chipmunk is twice as shy as I.
    He moves with flickering indecision
    Like stripes across the television.
    He's like the shadow of a cloud,
    Or Emily Dickinson read aloud.

    Ogden Nash

  • At 8:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Oh! Dey ams coot!

  • At 3:54 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Perfect poem, one avid. I have never seen it, and now I love it.

    Ana, they were SICKENINGLY coot.

  • At 10:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    But are they tasty?

  • At 10:25 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Are they tasty? I don't know what you're talking---


    Yes. They were. On a stick.

  • At 1:22 PM, Blogger Jenni said…

    They're so cute. I had chipmunks eating out of my hand in Red River, NM, once upon a time and it remains one of my favorite memories, due to the fact that I am a longstanding Grizzly Adams wanna-be.

    I don't know if you know me, but I've been reading you for some time and I think I have commented once or twice. I absolutely love your writing and I have added you to my blogroll...I just thought it was polite to tell you so. Even though you can't do a daggum thing about it. So there.

  • At 6:48 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Thanks, Jenni! Maybe you commented anonymously? Or maybe my midlife brain has burnt out some gears.

    Yeah, I'll never forget the chipmunk day. It was bizarre having them walk right up to me. I was squealing like a 4 year old.

  • At 8:03 PM, Blogger Domhan said…

    Coot? Coot? Dem leetle bastards crawled up our dryer vent and packed it full of pea gravel because they didn't like the hot air blowing on their new home. We couldn't figger out how's come our clothes were still wet in the dryer after two hours of tumbling on high heat. Also answered the question, "What the hell's that scratching noise coming from the bedroom closet at 11:00pm?" We also found out that they will either chew or dig concrete to reclaim their territory. Damned urban critter adaptability.

    They also ate a hole through the garage wall to get to the birdseed I had stored in sealed plastic tubs. Sig Oth wanted to make a pair of mittens out of them (the ground squirrels, not the plastic tubs). Instead, we bought a live trap and hauled their furry butts out to the country.

    Damn, I'm a cute critter killjoy.

  • At 8:40 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    I'm still picturing mittens made of plastic tubs.

    Yeah, my mom and dad HATED chipmunks. They used to tear the hell out of my mom's flowerbeds and my dad shot 'em. That's life on the farm. But I had no idea they were city terrorizers too.

    The chipmunks. Not my parents.

  • At 8:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Candy = The Chipmunk Whisperer

  • At 11:24 AM, Blogger prairie biker said…


  • At 4:45 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    I don't know which I'm more in love with:

    Chipmunk whisperer


    Mini bears.

    I must go deliberate.

  • At 9:03 PM, Blogger prairie biker said…

    mini-bears is the term for the ravenous and creative chipmunks at Philmont Scout Ranch just over the border there in New Mexico.

  • At 9:43 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Well crap. I thought you meant they were mini-Yogi bears and had tiny pick-a-nick baskets hidden in the greenery.

  • At 1:01 PM, Blogger Citlali said…

    omg -- that sounds GREAT! I'm so excited that I immediately want to ask you exactly where you went to feed these adorable creatures when my beloved kindly tells me that he would NEVER even think of getting that close to a chipmunk. He says they have some sort of public health campaign in Nevada that constantly broadcasts a warning about not getting near these deceivingly cute pathogen bombs that just happen to all carry the plague. The plague??? right. I'm looking this up and I'd still like to get those coordinates if you don't mind. Just don't tell Sweet. K? = ]

  • At 1:13 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    "...deceivingly cute pathogen bombs."

    Heh heh.



  • At 1:27 PM, Blogger Citlali said…

    lol, no really, you ok? lol. lol. = ]

  • At 9:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Thank you for the treats. You made our day!

  • At 1:29 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    You're welcome, chipmunks! Thanks for not biting me or giving me the plague!
    I will come back with more fancy crackers, soon.


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