Candy Rant

"I killed a rat with a stick once."

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Hankie's "Smelling the Breeze" Face


This was his last visit outside, on Sunday afternoon. He still liked to nibble on grass, smell the outside air, and even though he was blind, he still had to squint in order to get Full Hankie Focus on the breeze.

He taught me a great deal about how to be right smack dab in the moment.

9 Comments:

  • At 2:18 PM, Blogger ~:*:*:Pixie:*:*:~ said…

    What a cool little dude. <3

     
  • At 4:33 PM, Blogger JBelle said…

    *I love this shot of him.*

     
  • At 4:40 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    He ate grass like he was at a salad bar. Normally we took him out on a leash, but not after he got so slow and tired.

    I took lots of video of Hankie during the last month, and have some good footage of him eating grass.

    Yes, I know. I'm pitiful.

     
  • At 5:09 PM, Blogger Citlali said…

    those little moments that we grow to love so much are priceless. you captured something incredible in that expression. = ]

     
  • At 10:39 AM, Anonymous Banjo said…

    Courageous, loving, loyal, and strong. You are all these things Candy. When life gets tough you get to show what you are made of.

    Thank you for being loving and unselfish enough to end Hankie's life before it became really pain-filled and cruel. Too many of us hold on to terminally ill pets because we can't bear to part with them - as if they haven't given us enough already. Hankie's gifts to you were the many hours of enjoyment, companionship, and unconditional love. It is only right that your final gift to him was a dignified and painless death. Passing away "naturally" from the effects of uremia and toxemia would have been a nasty way to go. You did the right thing.

    Now, a real tragedy would have been if Hankie had outlived you. It isn't supposed to happen that way. So, you have done a courageous and loving thing for him. My sadness is for you and your loss, but today Hankie is no longer old and he no longer has kidney failure. And now you can remember him in his better days as the little buddy he truly was. He will live on in your heart as long as you like.

     
  • At 12:43 PM, Blogger mgm said…

    Candy, he's such a pretty kitty. I'm glad you had each other for so long.

     
  • At 2:39 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Definitely priceless, Citlali. Every one of them.

    MGM-Yeah, he was really a pretty cat. Even when he got old and skinny and dropped from 12 pounds to 7. Still pretty.

     
  • At 2:44 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Banjo, It's amazing how weak I feel.

    There was agony in making the decision to end his life, but it was in the WHEN. I didn't want to feel like I was cheating him out of some good days he could have. But I didn't want to wait too long and cause him to have horrible suffering. It felt so bizarre to try to figure out, with some imaginary equation in my head, how to determine when Hankie was suffering "enough" to end it for him.

    That's almost impossible with cats, since they are so quiet about their suffering. I read a vet's website that said he's had cats come in with broken pelvises and even backs, and they don't make a sound. Sometimes they even purr.

    So I mostly just sat with him, all night for about a week, seeing how he was doing. Watching. Trying to finish the equation.

     
  • At 10:21 PM, Blogger Carin said…

    Candy - doing the posts backward, but fits me.

    I totally understand the difficulty of knowing WHEN is when. I have put (thinking) several pets to sleep:

    Mouser - cat, got Cancer VERY suddenly, and was in horrible pain, which made it much easier for me.

    Moe - Dog (got her in college) - very bad hip displasia, and we pushed it to the end waiting for one LAST good summer at our cottage (no stairs) and made the decision that we didn't want to make her deal with stairs/cold weather again. It was hard.

    Malcom - dog; friend acquired for MOe. He went pretty quickly after Moe. Bad hips, great pain.

    Of course, you know about Greta.

    It's always hard being "the decider" for our pets.

    Lemme know if you want a copy of Mark Levin's book - about putting his dog down. it really helped me, and RTO sent me a copy after Greta. I'd be more than happy to send it along.

     

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