Candy Rant

"I killed a rat with a stick once."

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

2011 Beer Diary, Bottles #1 and #2

January 3

Beer: Scrimshaw
Named for the delicate engravings popularized by 19th century seafarers, Scrimshaw is a fresh tasting Pilsner.

Beer accompaniment: Dinner of fish (cod) and crappy purchased-in-a-moment-of-stupidity (by Candy) frozen creamed spinach and frozen baby lima beans in butter sauce. We did cook them, of course, but they still sucked. The fish was good.

Scott's reaction: "This is an excellent beer. Goes really well with the fish."

Candy's reaction to one small sip: "Oh. Puke."

January 5

Beer: Too Cream Stout
Made with milk sugar which gives this beer a nice creamy mouth feel which mingles with hints of chocolate and roasty flavors. Dark as the "bubblin' crude" that spurted up when Jed Clampitt shot into the ground.

Beer accompaniment: Dinner of very spicy chicken, a fantastic salad with red and green romaine lettuce, craisins, sliced almonds, and homemade dressing (Scott's very light blend of: orange juice, olive oil, parmesan cheese, salt, and pepper), and a doctored up ramekin serving of that nasty creamed spinach from night before last. Scott added bread crumbs and parmesan and baked it. It covered up 34% of the suckiness, but there was just really no saving it.

Scott's reaction: "That's a pretty good stout."

Candy's reaction to one small sip: "Oh noooooo!" (gack sounds in back of throat) "That is coffee mixed with horse piss. How can you drink horse piss?! 'Creamy mouth feel'... my @$$!"


  • At 12:35 AM, Blogger MamaMidwife said…

    "Covered 34 % of the suckiness" !!!


    And I am soooo with you - beer is AWFUL. The only beer I kinda, sorta could take was some kind of hard cider stuff I had when I was about 16 (Wtf is it called?? *sigh* my children have sucked the brains out of me, I can't remember). Oh, and Leine's Bery weise I *pretended* to like one time in my 20's. Really, it sucked just like regualr Liene's and all the other beers. Ew.

  • At 11:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Granted, I'm not fond of beer (unless it's a desperately hot and himid Indiana day and I just wheezed through mowing the lawn), then it's a true matter of, well, desperation. But California beer? Let alone made with "milk sugar?" Whatever that is. California Anything for me is as bad as California Lettuce-- gag. Besides it is a desert for cripes sake, I don't care if they do steal the water to make it semi-life sustaining. That's my story and I'm sticking with it. --S


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