Candy Rant

"I killed a rat with a stick once."

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Their Own Little Cul-de-Sac

The three couples got together every week or so, played board games, and drank many tall glasses of their favorite beverage: Tang.

Though their friendships were easy and comfortable, the gorillas were most likely to put a foot in their mouth.


  • At 9:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    That group puts the 'FUN' in 'functional'!

    I love slippers. Especially character slippers. I used to have a pair of Cabbage Patch Kid slippers that were pink plush and had a calico ruffle around the top and each slipper had a blonde Cabbage Patch Kid head on it. They were huge when I got them, in fourth grade, I think it was. But I wore them nevertheless and eventually grew into them. And I wore them into adulthood, I admit. They caused me to trip a lot, but they were cozy when I didn't have to walk anywhere. By the time I had to say goodbye to them, they were beat up and had holes in them, the bows in the hair were all frayed, and they were kind of creepy, I suppose. But it was hard to toss them out. Maybe because they had heads on them, and the eyes were staring up at me from the trash. They no longer looked so innocent with their scuffed up faces and ratty hair. Actually, come to think of it, they looked more like their evil counterparts, The Garbage Pail Kids.

  • At 2:06 AM, Blogger Steve B said…

    I've heard of cat blogging, but slipper blogging. You need to make that into a LOLSliprz picture.

    "Bunneh sliprz sayz too wurdz-

    Odur eetrz."

  • At 12:50 PM, Blogger Jerry said…

    It's a good ethnic mix.

  • At 1:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I have not been able to stop thinking about this post. It's a dull, drizzly day here, but every time I have thought about "Their Own Little Cul-de-Sac," I have not been able to suppress a chuckle.

    I wish I possessed your genius. I never could have come up with something this brilliant from a simple collection of slippers.

    You rock.

  • At 12:13 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    "By the time I had to say goodbye to them, they were beat up and had holes in them, the bows in the hair were all frayed, and they were kind of creepy, I suppose."

    Futuresis, I thought you were talking about your first 4 husbands!

  • At 12:13 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Steve, you've probably just started the next billion dollar website idea. Grab it.

  • At 12:14 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    But of course, Jerry! Very suburbia.

  • At 9:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    The difference between the first four husbands and the slippers was that the first four husband did not have their heads attached when I threw them in the trash. But they did have ratty bows in their hair adn they were dressed in calico. So I can see how you would have made that connection.

    And I am not full of crap. I'd better be careful with the Jeffrey Dahmer references and the tales of my first four husbands....the authorities might start to make some assumptions. But one cannot be prosecuted for what one does to one's purses, can she? And those guys were totally asking for it.

  • At 11:02 AM, Blogger Dana said…

    You all are so very entertaining.

    *sigh* I lerve this blog.

  • At 9:09 AM, Blogger Tony from the Bronx said…

    "But one cannot be prosecuted for what one does to one's purses, can she?" says Futuresis. But you can! Remember Ed Gein, the Wisconsin serial killer? Used to make purses out of his victims' skin, didn't he? And really nice lampshades.

    It's great that these traditional skills haven't been entirely lost. There's so much sloppiness and "don't give a damn" workmanship nowadays.

    Or maybe I'm thinking of Dahmers? Which one is it that kept a couple of heads in the fridge for a late night snack?

  • At 9:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    A friend of mine used to joke about Ed Gein- "Serial killer; or just an artist working in an unpopular medium?

  • At 11:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    And I thought I was an original.

    But I agree with you, Tony, that there is so much sloppy workmanship nowadays. I take great pride that I can say "Made in the good ol' U.S. of A.!" when I display my crafts. A lot of good, old-fashioned blood, sweat, and tears go into my work. Not all of my own, of course. But why quibble over details?

    I am not familiar with Ed Gein, but Dahmer was from Wisconsin. I'm pretty sure of that. If Gein was also, then I am starting to think that Wisconsin probably should not ever be listed on Forbes' "100 Best Places to Live."

  • At 4:23 PM, Blogger Tony from the Bronx said…

    I think it's terribly unfair to think badly of Wisconsin just because the Dairy State has produced two unbelievable bat-shit insane prevert-murderers. We don't think the less of London because of Jack the Ripper, do we?

    And I think there's a reason Gein murdered and dismembered, all the while chuckling and waving his arms about. According no less an authority than Wikipedia, "With a slight growth over one eye and an effeminate demeanor, the young Gein became a target for bullies."

    Well, there you have it--and to understand all is to forgive all. Which one of us guys wouldn't start thinking of ripping out hearts and making them into purses if we were teased for having an effeminate manner? I didn't.

  • At 5:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Well, Tony, you do have a point there. Wisconsin is known for many wonderful contributions to our great nation. It would be unfair to think of it as "The Serial Killer State." But, I have to admit that when I think of London, I automatically think of Jack the Ripper. That is why I didn't go there on vacation this year. Well, that, and I couldn't afford the airfare.

    And now that I know that Gein was bullied, that does shed a different light on the whole subject, doesn't it? He was simply misunderstood.

  • At 12:50 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    You guys are killin' me! Er...

    Making me laugh. That's what I meant. Not that you were ACTUALLY killing me. But hey thanks for all the interesting ways you've provided for people to google their way to my blog.

    I'm especially fond of
    "bat-shit insane prevert-murderers."

    While we're at it, we may as well add:


    There. Let's see what THAT brings by.

    I'm going to go google it now!

  • At 7:00 AM, Blogger Carin said…

    You know, Tang was my favorite beverage as a child. I was thinking about picking some up, but I don't know if I can handle the let-down that will most likely occur. I mean, it's been prolly 30 years since I drank it.

    I've got the same issue going with Spaghettios.

  • At 7:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…


    I know what you mean. I remember when I was a kid, we'd also eat the Tang powder by itself. Since reading this post, I have had a thirst for Tang. But you're right about the letdown. So often, when I eat something that I once loved as a kid, it just isn't nearly as great as I remember it to have been. Bummer.

  • At 7:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…


    I'd love to see another edition of searches that bring people to your blog!

    There's a little bit of something for everyone here, isn't there?

  • At 8:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Spaghettios. Don't try them. It's bound to lead to disappointment.
    Tang, on the other hand, is the beverage of the astronauts and so it will always be fabulous. Someone make a 'fabulous tang' joke. G'head.

  • At 9:26 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Now c'mon. Would the people who come to this blog make a joke like that?


  • At 12:17 AM, Blogger Steve B said…

    Hey chic, your blog is starting to look like mine. Dust, cobwebs, tumbleweeds.

    Let's go, snap to it. Your adoring public wants more More MORE of those crazy superlatives and exotic adverbs.

    I can only comment so many times about adorable yet somehow disturbing house slippers, regardles of how fetchingly arranged.

  • At 2:08 AM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    HA! "Regardless of how fetchingly arranged."


Post a Comment

<< Home