Candy Rant

"I killed a rat with a stick once."

Friday, January 19, 2007

Yep, We Still Got Plenty o' Stoopid Left

Candy's students have not disappointed her in the category of painfully moronic this semester. And it's only been 3 days!

Just one example: On the student information sheet, one bright young lad wrote that he is a "sophmore" and that he wishes to someday become an "astronaught."

Please. Can we PLEASE just have ONE spelling test at the front gate of each university and then take all the worthless, lazy, illiterate students and feature them on a reality show where they take turns getting onto a shiny red toboggan that plummets into a volcano? Huh? Is that asking too much? I would give them little fish crackers to lure them in.

9 Comments:

  • At 7:20 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Candy had to delete a couple comments that outed her identity. Oops.
    One must be vigilant when one is running from the law.

     
  • At 8:27 PM, Anonymous Scott P said…

    Ya ain't gonna hunt 'em down and kill 'em, are ye?

    'Cause that'll only make it worse.

     
  • At 8:42 PM, Anonymous Jackie O. said…

    Oh, I love those shows where all the worthless, lazy, illiterate students take turns getting onto a shiny red toboggan that plummets into a volcano! Do you mean *The Real World: Vesuvius,* or *Who Wants to Be Incinerated*? You know, there really are a couple too many volcano-bound toboggan shows out there, but I just can't get enough of 'em!

     
  • At 9:29 AM, Anonymous Tony from the Bronx said…

    No one listens to me--I've been saying for years: each instructor gets one black ball. Every semester he/she get to kick one of the little functional illiterates the hell out of school. Not class; school. Now if we all just work together....
    T fr. the B.

     
  • At 7:45 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Jackie O., You're a girl after my own heart. It is so hard to choose which illiterate-student-destroying show to watch and which one to tape.

     
  • At 7:47 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Well *I* listen to you, Tony.

    One problem with your black ball plan: I would be a blithering mess trying to decide which idiotic class enrollee to deep six. There are too many.

     
  • At 11:48 AM, Anonymous chubbyknuckles said…

    Hey, hey, hey, hey now...

    Every single one of my students this semester are bright, happy, well-adjusted, interested and interesting, above average, and completely engaged in the fascinating class discussions we've had.

    And now I must don my glittery evening gown and accept the award as queen of complete and total DEE-NIAL.

     
  • At 4:37 PM, Blogger Candy Rant said…

    Chubby, I love you. You make me feel less alone as a damaged-beyond-repair college instructor. We must sit down for some Tang and grilled cheeses.

     
  • At 9:42 AM, Anonymous chubbyknuckles said…

    MMMMMmmmmm, Taaaaannggg.

     

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